Since the time we enter this world, our every step
is influenced by society: directly or indirectly. Being born into an Indian
middle-class family, I received my ‘to-do list for life’ quite early. For us
Indians, completing this ‘to-do list’ is more than crucial. (Stress on
‘crucial’, as this determines if we are fit for this ‘non-pressurizing’ society
or not.) Not only completing it, but the nature and order in which it must be
completed, also determines our status and hierarchy in society. When I
use the word ‘our’, I am collectively referring to all indian-bred members of
generation Z. Another important clarification: this so called ‘crucial to-do
list’ is created by the society FOR us,
and not created BY us. You might ask, ‘how does a ‘to-do list’ created by
society matter?’. Of course it matters! How dare you question the entire
society’s point of view? It is, without any doubt certain that the society’s
point of view is superior and ‘more correct’ than your point of view. There
lies no question of going against the society because, “Log kya kahenge”?
“Log kya kahenge?”, directly translates to “What
will people say?”, and it is these three dreadful words which control our
entire existence. At every step of our lives, these three words haunt us. These
three words taunt us. Which kindergarten we join, whom we befriend, what
subjects we choose, what food we eat, which sports we play, which tution we
join, which tv shows we watch- all these decisions (and many more), are highly
regulated so that it falls under the society’s span of control. Each and every
decision made, has to be in accordance with the societal norms, and must have
their seal of approval. And of course, the society will persistently work to
ensure that all decisions made by all the individuals comply with the given
mandate. Their means include, but are not limited to, gossiping behind the
defaulter’s back, repeatedly pointing the offense out to the defaulter, and in
extreme cases, ‘subtly’ broadcasting the offense to the rest of the society.
As I grew up, like every other indian bred member,
I detested the existing societal norms and I wanted to make a difference.
Belonging to such a society made me want to be a radical; in fact I wanted to
be ‘that’ radical kid who everybody talked about with awe, after ‘that’ kid
became famous. I desperately wanted to be different and divergent from the
others around me and likewise, I ensured that all decisions made by me were as
profound and drastic as it could get. And trust me when I say this, I thought I
was extremely radical until very recently.
I always thought that being radical was in my nature
and naturally, this was justified by the many ‘radical’ decisions I made. But,
a recent change in society has shifted my perspective completely. From living
in a society were my decisions were considered radical, to shifting to a
society; where my definition of radical equalled their definition of ‘normal’
got me thinking about all the decisions I’ve made. Did I make all those
decisions just to prove to the society that I’m radical or did I make them
because I enjoyed the consequences of the decision? If I was under different
societal pressures would I have made the same decisions or would the decisions
be different? Did I equally evaluate and weigh all the choices before making
the decision or did I jump at the most radical decision? And most importantly,
do I regret my decisions?
I can’t answer those questions and nor can anybody
answer them for me. But that doesn’t stop me from saying; ‘I love how life has
turned out for me’. Of course, there are many things that could be better in my
life, but that doesn’t stop me from relishing and appreciating the present. I
am who I am because of many factors I would like to believe it’s attributed to
both nature and nurture in equal proportions; but honestly, who cares? As the
great master Oogway said, ‘Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery. Today
is a gift. That’s why it’s called the present’.
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