University Freshmen Orientation Camps: 5 reasons you should go

Hey you! Yes, you! Stop looking around, and give me a Cheer!

When I say Lemon, you say Squeeze.

Lemon!!! [Readers reading in their mind: “squeezeee”]

LEMON!!! [Readers whispering softy in their mind: “squeeze…?”]

LOUDER!! LEMON!!! [Readers screaming in their mind: “SQUEEZEEEEEEE!!!”]

Okay good. That is exactly what you do at a university orientation camp: You learn seven to eight of such brain-dead cheers, which you practice for three to four wasted days, and ten years later, you will not remember your GPA in college, but trust me, you will remember your cheer.

Hello, sorry to interrupt, but I thought we discussed that this blog article was going to be five POSITIVE reasons why one should attend their university freshman orientation camp. If you continue writing this, then I swear Lira, I am not going to publish this.

…Right.

So, for one last time, LEMON!! [Readers, gleaming with pleasure that they still remember what to say, silently read in their minds: “squeeze”.] Yo! Chill readers! It hasn’t even been ten seconds. No need to feel pleased for not having the memory of a goldfish. See how I suppressed your excitement at your mental abilities? That is the exact opposite of what happens at a university freshman orientation.

So, without further ado, here are the five reasons you should attend:

1.  Make friends

Ok, it doesn’t get more cliché than this.

P.s. These people are great if you want to eat supper at 1 AM, and thankfully, my dear friends, you can’t see the ‘Thread of Thoughts’ team right now; because otherwise, you will know that that is exactly what we are doing right now. 
Heehee

But in all honesty, these people are going to be your family for the next four years (or three years if you do B.Sc. and choose to be an embarrassment for your (maybe hypothetical) Asian family).

I am Asian.

I am doing B.Sc.

But its B.Sc. with Honors, so I guess it doesn’t count. Plus, my family doesn’t have that great of an expectation from me.  No expectations, no disappointments.

Got distracted much?

Right… what was I saying again? Yes, make friends. If you are introverted like me, and want to avoid human interaction, then simply go ahead and hug a tree. Join the Chipko Movement! Yes! Save a tree; save a life! (Added bonus: You might get featured in a newspaper)

2.  Be Dora the Explorer with Maps

Another advantage of freshmen orientation is that you get to unravel the intimidatingly humongous setting, that is, the campus. Basically, you attempt to be a more successful version of the maze runners.

How did you go from Dora to the Maze Runner? Wait! I didn’t go anywhere. In fact, I was coming to it.

Now that the topic of Dora is up, I wonder how her mother gave her so much freedom. Here, it takes me one hundred questions, a formal signed letter, and a sacrifice to the demons to have my mother allow me to go to my own birthday party. But Dora’s mom? Nah! That lady is chill! But of course, most of the teaching is coming from Dora, and no I am not talking about Spanish numbers. I am talking about her invaluable life lesson to young girls about not wasting time on Tinder, which she reiterates at least thrice every episode: “Swiper no swiping, Swiper no swiping, Swiper no swiping.”

However, my dear friends, I am very sorry to inform you that unlike Dora, you will not have Maps to help you out. You must figure out the campus on your own, unless you want to be like me: I have had my own adventures, and to mention one of the many would be when I got out of the campus in a wrong bus without a valid card to get back inside.

Hence a little tip: get to know where your lecture rooms are in advance. Figure out the transport at your university. But more importantly, get to know where the inexpensive food stalls are, and which stalls are not rodent-infected.

3.  Know your position in college

Why am I including this point? Well, when you start out in a new university, you will most probably be faced with one of the following two scenarios. Either you figure out that everyone else is much more smarter than you, or you realize that you are going to spend the next few years of your life in a place which is filled with ‘Suppandi’s (If you get the reference, give me an e-high five. If you don’t, read ‘Suppandi’ as ‘Joey Tribbiani’).

Either way, let me tell you now itself that you are wrong! Some EInsteins will always be there at every university. But that doesn’t mean that there won’t be any with the brain size of a Flat Earth Society member. Dude! You will get us into trouble. There are 177,786 people following the Flat Earth Society page on Facebook! You can't offend so many people at the same time!

Well, according to statistics, there are about 26368 universities in the world. That is about 6.7 Flat Earth believer going to one of those universities in their life-time. Point Proved. *Insert mic drop here* You don’t have a mic. *insert dab here*

4.  Win free stuff

Yah!!! WIN FREE STUFF!!! Is an explanation even necessary? I think not.

5.  Clear your doubts

Yes very important. For a university student, having doubt is a hereditary trait. Let me specify: having stupid doubts is a hereditary trait. Come on now, no doubt is stupid.

“Are compulsory lectures absolutely compulsory?”

“Does astronomy and astrology teach the same thing?”

“If there is a speed of light, is there a speed of dark?”

 “How do islands not float away?”

 “If tomato is a fruit, are ketchups a smoothie?”

 “Will my professor resemble Ross?”

“Can I become Mrs. Geller?”

Please stop typing. I stand corrected. Some doubts are stupid. And what is this sudden obsession of yours with F.R.I.E.N.D.S?

However, just to answer, islands don’t float away because of really large anchors. And while we are on the topic, rhinos are just obese, sun-kissed unicorns and the moon landing was staged.

6.  Have fun

Wha…?? Am I going against my own topic? Where did point 6 come from? The title only says five titles. Well, let me advocate for myself.

Your honor, Un-important titles cannot get counted into the topic. Why is having fun necessary? Why is being happy necessary? It is not. You are in University to study. Do that. All you need in life is to study well, so that you can get a well-paying job. How else do you plan on paying for your psychiatrist?

But since people don’t really seem to care about mental health so much, I shall not be giving this point much importance. Hence the title of this blog is going to remain ‘5 reasons you should go’. Please don’t doubt my mathematical skills. This is a deliberate omission.

I know people don’t usually say this, but whatever you do, have fun. People ask “what are you doing now”, and “how are you” to which the answer is always “fine, uncle. Thank you.” But no one actually asks if you are “happy”. Umm funny story: not all the people with a moustache are your ‘uncle’. Sometimes, they are an ‘aunt’. A really hairy ‘aunt’ who hasn’t waxed her upper lips in a decade.

Anyway, be happy. Even if you are not, try smiling. Smiling releases hormones that gives your brain the impression that you are happy. Smile like you feel it. Having said that, if you are dealing with smiling depression, then please seek immediate help. Smiling depression, to define it would be when you are dying from the inside, but still put up a charade every day to fool the fools who think that you are the one with the perfect life. If you know anyone who might be dealing with this type of a crippling experience, then please reach out. Friends, family, professions, in fact, even us! We are all there to support. But please do reach out.  

On that note, stay happy, stay safe, stay wonderful.